Focus on Alcoholism

STAYING THE COURSE

Well meaning family and friends often ask a recovering alcoholic why he or she is still going to “those meetings” or unconsciously wondering what’s really wrong that the alcoholic needs such long term support. The same friends and family would never suggest that a diabetic stop taking his insulin, or that a cardiac surgery survivor stop taking her coumadin. For some reason, civilians seem to think alcoholics should be “cured” by some length of meeting participation and then get on with their lives. Put the “problem” behind them.

And alcoholics themselves led astray by their disease, a disease that is “cunning, baffling and powerful,” may get away from meetings and forget the inevitable outcome. They are not sitting in a chair, listening to soul mates, and hearing about what happens to members who don’t go to meetings. The likely outcome, a return to full blown alcohol-ism and all of its attendant consequences, such as binge drinking, daily excessive drink-ing, promiscuous behavior. Drinking and driving, blackouts, stealing, dishonesty, degradation.

One old timer remembered being in recovery in the late 1940’s. He was a young family man and one of the very few young people attending recovery meetings. He became the “fair haired boy” on the speaking circuit, making commitments through out the tri-sate area. The success went to his head. He forgot where he was when he came in. He thought he was cured, past the need and all of a sudden his disease came back with excessive drinking. He lost everything: wife, children, jobs, self-respect. He literally became the archetypal bowery bum in New York’s bowery. It was eighteen years before he came back to recovery and got his life back. He often counseled those who would listen that he had done it for them. They did not need to “go out” or “fall off the wagon” as he did it for them.

So why do folks keep coming? Partially for selfish reasons, namely, to have a shot at staying in recovery (never recovered). Equally important, they want to be and they need to be there for those coming in behind them, just as others were there for them. A friend with over 28 years in recovery tells of the young man, 31 years old, who said the man was the first long termer who had started at age 31 and had not gone back out. The 60 year old is there so the 31-year-old knows he can do it, too.

And so it goes, one day at a time, living life, experiencing and feelings its ups and downs like all the “civilians” around them. If you think you need help, “they” will be there for you today, tomorrow and on into the future.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Peter J. Flierl, MSW is a national award winning author and motivational speaker and President of FBT Worldwide, a business devoted to entrepreneurial e-commerce, philanthropy, and communications. Flierl is a graduate of Hobart College with a B.A. in English and received his M.S.W. in Clinical Social Work from Louisiana State University.