Transition, going home

Our family is going through the grieving process as we anticipate the death and loss of our family patriarch, the last surviving member of our parents' generation, Arthur L. Billings, Jr. He is Shirley's Dad, my father-in-law, and Alison's grandfather. We knew at age 95 after multiple series of mini strokes and dementia that his time must come, sooner than later. We lost Marge, his wife of 69 years, on August 21st, suddenly and unexpectedly despite her 92 years. She would have been 93 tomorrow, January 3rd.

The good news is that I feel and feel deeply. I wept like a baby two weeks ago at an Early Risers' and opened the floodgates. I have been stoical. I have tried to be there for Shirley and for Alison. Alie and Pete visited Art on Friday, just two days ago. He gace a thumbs up to their being engaged, perhaps his last real communication in this life. Alie wants to do more, to be there for him, but he is on his way and not really with us.

I went to a meeting tonight on Central Avenue in Albany. came close to losing itr again. This man gave life to my wife. He has been an integral part of my life for 36 years. He is such a good soul, a person leaned on and looked to by our summer community. He is a role model for business and family. He loved life. I have prayers being said for him throughout Albany tonight by people who have never met him, but are now spiritually connected.

I talk the talk. I am trying to walk the walk. My faith is, I hope, real. Art really is moving on to next phase of his being, a better place where he will indeed reconnect with Marge and all the others who have gone before.

We have experienced everytrhing now. Mike, a best friend, was killed when hit by a car at age 7 or 8. We lost 6 young boys in 1962, 4 in one alcohol-related accident and 2 in a second alcohol-related accident. And we all kept drinking and driving. Another friend was hit by lightening at age 21 and existed in a nursing home here for 25 years. Mom died suddenly at age 60, much too young for her, traumatic for all of us. Dad had a long battle with cancer, so we knew the end was coming and yet it still leaves a hole. His eagle salute off the shore of Turtle Island will stay with me forever. And then we have Marge and Art in their 90's, and it is still hard, still emotional. While death is part of life, it jus ain't easy. It sucks.